May 22, 2012

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NEWS | Hacienda Boiler Party

Plans are being made to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the installation of the first combination boiler at Manchester’s legendary nightclub the Hacienda – with an old-school rave in the utility room of a 2-bed, soulless shoe-box apartment on the spot where the club once stood. Former Hacienda rolled steel joist Peter Hook, who provided over […]

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May 12, 2012

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NEWS | Police question BT advert star over disappearance of flatmate

The star of a series of fly on the wall documentary adverts for BT is being questioned regarding the disappearance of his 20-year old flatmate Anna Tranter. Manchester student Simon North, 19, was one of three individuals chosen by BT to live rent-free in a Manchester flat in exchange for being continuously filmed for their […]

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May 10, 2012

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NEWS | Metrolink announce split

Seminal 90s light rail tram system Metrolink have announced they are splitting after 20 years. The group confirmed that their forthcoming weeks of breakdowns would be their last with their final delays coming during the Stone Roses’ gigs at Heaton Park at the end of June. “I think we feel that Metrolink has run its […]

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May 8, 2012

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SPORT | Manchester City may have bought players in order to help them win the league

Speculation is growing that Manchester City may have exchanged money for players, leading opposing fans to claim that they have ‘bought’ the title. The Premier League was set up in 1992 as a collective non-profit cooperative with the sole objective of volunteers coming together to mutually benefit society and culture. Rule 3.2.7 prohibits any exchange […]

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May 6, 2012

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NEWS | Moon fans queue to see new ‘Supermoon’

Moon fan-fucks have been queuing over the past 48-hours to get a glimpse of the new ‘Supermoon’ which will be released to the sky by God this weekend. The new Supermoon is essentially exactly the same moon as the last one but it appears slightly bigger and brighter in the sky. There are no known […]

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May 5, 2012

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SPECIAL FEATURE | FA Cup Final build-up drinking game

News Manc has put together a fun drinking game to get you through ITV’s two hours of FA Cup Final build-up. The rules are simple: when one of the items on the list below occurs note the number of points and add it to your total. For every 100 points scored down a pint of […]

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April 29, 2012

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NEWS | 8,000 runners brave 26 miles in drought conditions for the Manchester marathon

Thousands of runners are braving severe drought conditions today for the Greater Manchester marathon. Athletes are running through areas of barren scorched earth in temperatures of up to 32C as Manchester struggles in an unexpected period of acute dryness. “Urmston looks more like Dakar this morning”, said Thomas Reid, 24, who is running on behalf […]

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April 23, 2012

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SPORT | Ferguson: “Howard Webb is available for selection”

Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Howard Webb has passed a fitness test and will be available for selection for the crucial clash against Manchester City in a week’s time. Premiership Referee Webb has not trained with the United squad for just over two weeks after picking up knee and ankle knocks in United’s 2-0 […]

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April 22, 2012

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NEWS | Mancunians reminded of St George’s Day via racist Facebook status updates

Many Mancunians who completely forgot that today is St George’s Day will be reminded of the fact by reading racist Facebook status updates. 23rd April is often the day chosen by people you added as friends on Facebook, despite not having seen them since school, met them only once on a stag or hen do […]

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April 21, 2012

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NEWS | Record Store Day to be followed by Sell Limited Edition Vinyl On Ebay Day

Many music fans who queued through the night in Manchester’s Northern Quarter as part of Record Store Day will tomorrow celebrate National Sell Limited Edition Vinyl On Ebay Day. Vinyl resellers began waiting outside shop Piccadilly Records from late on Friday evening in an attempt to bag rare releases before relisting them on auction site […]

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