NEWS | Hodgson: I’m not behind Manchester Airport fuel shortage

June 6, 2012

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Diao: not affected by fuel shortages.

An official spokesman for Roy Hodgson has released a strongly worded statement denying rumours that the England manager is behind the Manchester Airport fuel shortage.

Hodgson was seen meeting representatives of the Ellesmere Port fuel refinery that supplies Manchester Airport yesterday.

Although there has been no official word on the subject matter of that meeting many believe it was to ensure that there is no possibility whatsoever of Michael Carrick, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes or any other Manchester United player flying out to Poland or the Ukraine.

A statement released by Hodgson’s representative read: “Roy was simply meeting them to discuss a splendid jacket he’d seen one of their directors wearing.”

“And stop asking us about Rio’s tyres being slashed, that wasn’t Roy. And before you mention it he’s got nowt to do with Carrick’s phone going missing either. So fuck off.”

“However, Roy would like to make it clear to England fans that Liverpool airport still has plenty of fuel and he fully expects Stuart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Steven Gerrard, Martin Kelly, Jay Spearing, Daniel Agger, Martin Skrtel, Pepe Reina and Salif Diao to still be able to fly out and join the four remaining non-Liverpool based England players at their training camp in Ukraine.”

In related news the FA confirmed today that if Martin Kelly gets injured Anton Ferdinand will be called up. Just for a fucking laugh.

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