NEWS | Tevez to show crying Manchester City fan how to not give a flying fuck

March 13, 2012

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Manchester City have offered ‘crying fan’ John Millington the services of Carlos Tevez to teach him how to not give a flying fuck about a football club.

Passionate fan Millington, 26, was caught crying by television cameras after City’s 1-0 defeat away at Swansea on Sunday.

Football fans around the world were quick to inform Millington that the correct way to show passion and emotion for something that doesn’t matter is getting tattooed, putting thousands of pounds a year in to the pockets of millionaires who couldn’t give a shiny shit about the thing you care most about or continually listening to Talksport even though you hate it with every fibre of your being.

“Showing pure naked emotion is simply not on”, said one fan on Twitter.

But the club have now stepped in to help.

After an exclusive interview in today’s MEN the club have promised to support Millington by lending him Carlos Tevez for the next week.

A spokesman for the club said: “Carlos will spend the next week with John playing golf, checking bank balances and generally not giving a fuck about anything.”

“We hope that just seven days with Carlos will completely suck any passion John ever had for this club completely out of him.”

Many Manchester City fans have told Millington that he would be best to save his tears for when the club really emotionally punishes fans by completely imploding in on itself in around three to four years time.

“I’m really looking forward to spending time with Carlos”, said Millington.

“Football fans who care passionately for their clubs have rightly mocked me for caring passionately about my club. Hopefully by this time next week I’ll have nothing but contempt for Manchester City.”

It is believed that Nicolas Anelka has been lined up to spend some time with Millington if the session with Tevez doesn’t do the job.

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