SPORT | Sian Massey did really, really well

March 12, 2012


Well done love.

The media has been quick to tell Premier League assistant referee Sian Massey not to worry her pretty little head about being a woman in football as she’d done a really, really good job.

Newspapers and football commentators were falling over themselves to inform the sweetie pie just how well she’d done after she correctly decided that one man was standing to the side of another man as a ball was kicked in their direction.

 Massey, who has very pretty hair as well as being really clever, made the correct offside decision in the 88th minute to deny a Micah Richards’ header which would have salvaged a point for Manchester City in their 1-0 defeat to Swansea.

‘Sian Massey’ quickly became a trending topic on Twitter as sports journalists and former players celebrated the fact  that someone with a vagina had somehow worked out that two men weren’t standing level with one another at a certain point in time.

“Sian Massey is clearly very capable and is obviously doing the job as well as a man. People shouldn’t have doubted you love, well done”, said Steven Seagal warm-up act Stan Collymore.

The MEN website went with the headline “Great job honey, keep it going!” on their online article regarding the decision.

The article revealed that not only did Massey make the correct offside call, she’d also got to the ground all by herself and parked her own car with no problems whatsoever.

Manchester City fans were quick to tell the MEN that they couldn’t give a fuck whether the assistant referee had boobs or not and preferred to point out that defensive pairing of Savic and Toure simply wasn’t good enough on the day.

Uterus-sporting Massey was unavailable to comment as she was busy in her day job teaching A-Level Physical Education, which she obtained by doing a degree in Sports Science and a PGCE.

It is believed that the media praise for Massey could pave the way for women to atempt to enter more intellectually challenging professions, such as medicine and architecture.

Massey was previously at the centre of a sexism row after Sky Sports commentators Andy Gray and Richard Keys questioned the ability of the female sex to see things and make decisions.

Gray is now working as a loft-lagging salesman for DIY-chain Wickes.


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