NEWS | Chester Road building fire: police refuse to rule out Balotelli

March 2, 2012


Balotelli: enjoys putting wigs on James Milner.

Greater Manchester Police (GMP) have refused to rule out the involvement of Mario Balotelli in a large building fire currently raging on Chester Road.

Eyewitness reports allegedly place Balotelli in the area around 30 minutes before fire crews arrived at the scene.

Local resident Sarah Sempter spoke to News Manc after spotting the world’s greatest man sneaking around the Trafford area with a big grin on his face.

“I saw him dancing along Chester Road towards the building from the direction of Old Trafford”, said Sempter.

“He was wearing a T’Pau t-shirt and a Carol Decker wig, but it was definitely him. He was pushing a supermarket trolley full of fireworks and lighter fluid.”

A Manchester City FC spokesman later confirmed to News Manc that Balotelli is going through an 80’s music phase.

Detective Inspector Fraser Mitchell from GMP told News Manc that Balotelli is currently being questioned at a local police station.

“Progress is slow as he’s answering questions in Klingon, but we’ll get there”, said Mitchell.

As regular readers of News Manc will know, this isn’t the first time Balotelli has got himself involved in unusual incidents.

In November he signed up for a weight watchers class in Blackley and turned up to the first meeting dressed as a Volvo s40.

And just last month he refused to play in a Premier league fixture against Aston Villa unless James Milner agreed to recreate with him the advert where the man with the ukulele sings at a train station about the girl on the other platform being a natural blonde.

The club hastily arranged the hire of Moston train station and convinced Milner to don a blonde wig and a sheepish grin.


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One Comment on “NEWS | Chester Road building fire: police refuse to rule out Balotelli”

  1. TheDHW Says:

    Reblogged this on Divine Secrets of the Yaarkshire Sisterhood and commented:
    I love this website, particularly when I have nothing amusing to offer myself on a chilly and slightly hungover Monday: –


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