NEWS | Mexico and Brazil to seek legal advice on United Nations report

February 29, 2012


Gustavo Álvares told News Manc that parts of Brazil may be bad, but they're not "Gorton bad."

Both Mexico and Brazil have reacted angrily after a United Nations report compared their shanty towns to areas of Manchester.

The report released yesterday by the UN claimed that parts of Manchester are becoming no-go areas where drugs gangs are effectively in control and went on to liken these areas to those found in Brazil and Mexico. Birmingham and Liverpool were also mentioned in the report.

The report was written by Professor Hamid Ghodse, president of the UN’s International Narcotics Control Board (INCB), who has never been to Manchester but had a good look on Google streetview and watched the first three series of Shameless before putting pen to paper.

Gustavo Álvares is a politician in Gávea which is home to Rochina, one of Brazil’s largest shanty towns.

“We’ve taken some insults in our time. But to be compared to areas like Gorton and Moss Side? We are proud people and this is a step too far. We have asked the Brazilian government to look to look in to the issue and it’s our understanding that they will be seeking legal advice.”

“At least we have running water in the majority of our properties”, added Álvares.

Mark Trent, 47, lives in Moss Side and has run an organised crime syndicate in the region for the past 22 years.

“Yeah, the report is pretty bang on”, said Trent.

“When my boys are really cracking heads on a busy night you don’t want to get involved, trust me. Stay indoors.”

Meanwhile Manchester City Council have confirmed they have added the United Nations to a growing official list of people and organisations that can fuck right off.

City Council leader Eamonn Dwellings said: “Carlos Tevez, Chloe Sevigny and now the United Nations. Quite frankly they can all go fuck themselves. You heard me, jog on.”

It is understood that both Coventry and Glasgow have made an official approach to the United Nations to question their exclusion from the report.



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4 Comments on “NEWS | Mexico and Brazil to seek legal advice on United Nations report”

  1. Kirsty Says:

    *laughing like a drain*


  2. Anonymous Says:

    “organisations that can fuck right off” was the tipping point for me. I was merely chuckling up to that point and unleashed a massive “HA!” that has resulted in minor structural damage.


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