NEWS | Manchester transport officials confirm Wythenshawe containment

February 24, 2012

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Transport chiefs have not yet confirmed how they plan to create square, floating trees

Transport bosses have been quick to reassure the public that a new £6.7m transport interchange hub to be built in Wythenshawe will only be connected to other areas of Wythenshawe.

Transport for General Manchester’s (TfGM) central office has been plagued with calls from the public who are concerned that the new station complex will mean that they will have to visit Wythenshawe or that Wythenshawe residents will be visiting them.

TfGM’s Director of Operations Marsha Sparvagn spoke to News Manc to reassure Manchester residents that this won’t be the case.

“The buses and trams will simply run back and forth from the patch of gravel at the back of Farm Foods in the Civic Centre to the Netto on Hollyhedge Road.”

“On no account will we connect up the multi-million pound Metrolink and bus station facility to any other part of our transport network.”

TfGM also confirmed that the brand new transport hub will have machines that don’t accept notes or cards, a massive plain white wall ready for graffiti and a 18′ HD plasma screen showing live coverage of a busy London underground platform to show people what they could have won.

Many Wythenshawe residents have reacted with dismay at the news that ‘numerous jobs’ will be created as part of the initiative.

“I’m more than happy not working to be honest”, said local unemployed resident Mathew Timms.

“So if you think I’ll wander around in a yellow jacket getting shit off school kids as I ask them for tickets and passes you can fuck right off.”

A protest against the potential future employment opportunities is planned for 2pm on Saturday in ASDA car park.

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12 Comments on “NEWS | Manchester transport officials confirm Wythenshawe containment”

  1. thinkl33t Says:

    As a Wythenshawe denizen I wish to complain heartily about the glaringly inaccurate facts outlined in this news story.

    That Netto is now an Asda.

    That is all.

    Reply

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Mega lolz! I work in Wythenshawe and resolutely fucking hate the place.

    Reply

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Mega lolz! I work in Wythenshawe and resolutely fucking hate the place. Its the chav infested arse of the world.

    Reply

    • Anonymous Says:

      anonymous, if you hate the place get out. Or are you simply a slave to your job. Now get to work and pay for my giro.

      Reply

  4. organikmusic Says:

    this actually made my day hahahahah!!

    Reply

  5. augustunderground Says:

    The plans mention no area for gangs to congregate and achieve ASBO status, or secluded area suitable for mugging/urinating/sex, the basic right of any 14 year old.

    Reply

  6. marc evans Says:

    Its so obvious these replys r fake,at least two of them said they were working in whizzndraw = Wythenshawe

    Reply

  7. Anonymous Says:

    scared of work,you bet they are bunch of lazy foul mouthed good for fuk all knobs 95% of them are

    Reply

    • Anonymous Says:

      I am one of the 5% from wythenshawe who are not lazy I earn so I can pay and provide for my family. I was born and raised here and I have been working since 16 so I don’t appreciate being tarred with the same brush if you don’t mind

      Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Wythenshawe isolated? « Michael's MMU teaching blog - February 28, 2012

    […] Although the spoof new site NewsManc is pretty funny, I think most residents of Wythenshawe already see their area and thoroughly isolated from the rest of Manchester. […]

  2. Wythenshawe isolated? « allarthistoryiscontemporary - March 28, 2012

    […] Although the spoof new site NewsManc is pretty funny, I think most residents of Wythenshawe already see their area and thoroughly isolated from the rest of Manchester. […]

  3. Wythenshawe isolated? « a_view_ from - August 7, 2012

    […] Although the spoof new site NewsManc is pretty funny, I think most residents of Wythenshawe already see their area and thoroughly isolated from the rest of Manchester. […]

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