NEWS | Manchester youths quick to condemn ‘poorly executed’ riots

February 24, 2012


Manchester youths: "THIS is how you do it."

The youth of Manchester were quick to condemn football supporters for a ‘lacklustre’ and ‘poorly planned’ approach to their violence in Manchester city centre last night.

Fans of both Ajax and Manchester United clashed in a number of city centre incidents with reports of a beermat being thrown and a number of bins being pushed over.

Dwight Snetterton, 19, from Moss Side, was a key player in the Manchester riots of summer 2011. He was unimpressed with what he witnessed last night.

“It was poorly executed”, said Snetterton.

“I didn’t see any evidence of organisation via social media from either side and there appeared to be complete lack of any plan of action. This clearly manifested itself in an absence of any meaningful or comprehensive damage and theft.”

“I hate to say it, but their approach was amateurish”, concluded Snetterton.

Salford resident Kieran Dobbs, 21, was responsible for turning over three cars parked near Salford Shopping City, setting fire to a Greggs and stealing a Kenwood sandwich toaster in the same riots.

Dobbs has subsequently set up Quantum Riot Advisory which provides bespoke consultancy services to individuals and groups looking to commit violent public disturbances.

“The authorities in Amsterdam have been in touch to ask whether we can provide future support and guidance for their hooligans which we’d be delighted to do.”

“But let’s be blunt, what we saw last night was shocking. What is the actual fucking point if you’ve not got in to Footlocker? And as far as I’m concerned it can’t even be classified as a riot if you haven’t set fire to a women’s fashion retailer.”

Meanwhile Rangers fans could be heard laughing all the way from Glasgow.

Police were also called to Heywood to break up a violent mob of around 200 youths.

Local Councillor Rob Beasley gave News Manc his reaction.

“It’s fucking brilliant. Not a lot normally happens here. Is this for a national paper?”


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