OUT AND ABOUT | Week Commencing 13th February

February 13, 2012

HOME, OUT AND ABOUT

News Manc readers have been busy sending in their reports of celebrities seen in and around the Manchester area.

To be included in next week’s ‘Out and About’ please send us an e-mail telling us who you’ve seen, where they were and what they were up to.   

newsmanc@gmail.com

Outkast’s Andre 3000 being arrested  at Waitrose in Atrincham after drunkenly dry-humping the children’s Postman Pat amusement ride outside the shop.

Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbs) excitedly telling the customer services representative at Wigan Council’s Financial Services department about an episode of Batfink she’d recently seen.

Manchester United winger Nani being told off yet again for bombing and heaving petting at the Manchester Aquatic Centre on Oxford Road.

Black Eyed Peas ‘singer’ Will.I.Am buying rawl plugs from Wickes in Clifton.

James Michael Taylor (Gunther in Friends) buying 3 for £5 Blue WKDs at the White Horse in Eccles before consuming them all himself.

Masterchef’s John Torode making engine noises and pretending that a spoon of food is a plane whilst trying to feed follow presenter Greg Wallace, who was dressed as an adult baby, in The Great Kathmandu Tandoori Restaurant in West Didsbury.

Steve Coogan and Courtney Love having a heated debate about the Leveson Enquiry at Frankie and Bennys, Saint Ann Street.

Former children’s TV presenter Dave Benson-Phillips absent-mindedly masturbating in front of the high definition televisions at Currys in Ashton-under-Lyne.

Money Saving Expert Martin Lewis stuffing pornographic magazines in to a hedge in Stretford.

Actress Honor Blackman remonstrating with staff at WHSmiths in the Arndale Shopping Centre after being denied a refund on a JLS annual despite having a receipt.

Manchester City striker Edin Dzeko being forcibly removed from Manchester Art Gallery after desecrating a painting of a sunset with his own blood and faeces.

Take Me Out presenter Paddy McGuinness cleaning blood out of the boot of his car whilst burning clothes in an old oil drum outside his home in Bolton.

Film director Woody Allen at Shudehill bus station telling confused passers-by about a large handed woman from Rochdale.

Max and OB from Hollyoaks wandering nonchalantly down Deansgate, two naked dwarfs on leashes following miserably behind.

A haggard and thin-looking Peter Hook kneeling outside the Hacienda, his bloody hands beating the pavement, tears streaming down his face.

Coronation Street actor Jimmi Harkishin (Dev Alahan) looking left, then right, before reaching over the counter and stealing a can of Lilt from a branch of LA Chicken in Bury.

Actor Wood Harris (Avon Barksdale from The Wire) on Market Street lighting a single candle and making the sign of the cross on his chest to mark the anniversary of Steve Irwin’s death.

OJ Simpson complaining loudly about the lack of large overalls at Daytona Go-Karting in Trafford.

Dolph Lundgren stroking the hair on a mannequin head and staring off in to middle-distance whilst sitting quietly on a bench in Platt Fields Park.

The four presenters of Loose Women launching a frenzied attack upon a defenceless labrador dog on Portland Street before ripping it apart with their bare hands behind Yate’s Wine Lodge.

Lada Gaga and Nicky Minaj both stark naked whilst making their third trip to the salad cart at the Harvester Restaurant in Stockport.

Dogs

Fashion legend Karl Lagerfeld ripping up a losing betting slip at the Belle Vue Dogs Stadium whilst berating a sheepish Prince Albert II of Monaco who was clutching a dog-eared form guide.

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7 Comments on “OUT AND ABOUT | Week Commencing 13th February”

  1. Ian Says:

    Im sure half of that is made up

    Reply

  2. Anonymous Says:

    haha you reckon? good observation!

    Reply

  3. Keith from bury Says:

    Witney Houston buying sherbet in pound land in bury.but I might have been mistaken and it was michael jackson!

    Reply

  4. Peter Says:

    I saw Kerry Katona at Iceland in Clayton she was trying to get people to give her £1 coins when returning the trolleys.

    Reply

  5. Noj Says:

    Last week I saw Peter Cook actually DJing for real, and not faking it to a backing track, by the bins at the back of piccadilly station. It was fucking awful.

    Reply

  6. iyujanqlclj@gmail.com Says:

    Wheat Germ Blueberries Strawberries Hershey’s Syrup. Small Banana – A banana that is approximately 6 inches long is considered small.

    Reply

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