SPORT | Michelangelo’s David spotted at the Etihad Stadium

January 31, 2012



David: His penis may look small but it actually measures seven inches whilst still flacid.

News Manc has received unconfirmed reports from a number of sources this evening that Michelangelo’s sculpture of David has been spotted at the Etihad stadium. With today being transfer deadline day this would indicate that David is on the verge of signing for the club.

David is currently signed to the Accademia di Belle Arti in Florence but the art academy have previously hinted that they could be prepared to let him go for the right price. City looked to move for the diminutive left-sided sculpture last season, but were unable to agree personal terms. The fee this time is believed to be in the region of £850 million plus Nigel De Jong.

“David is someone we are looking at”, confirmed City manager Roberto Mancini. “The composition, the light and shade depicted by Michelangelo on the torso, the way in which his recoiled, calm position seems to indicate that exact moment between conscious choice and deliverance. He has it all. He would be good for Manchester City.”

“We’d love him here”, agreed captain Vincent Company. “I think the gaffer may have to think carefully about his position as there’s a spot near the entrance in our main reception or in the cafeteria by the door. But I can’t comment on whether we will be signing him though, that’s up to the club.”

Rumours started gathering on Twitter at around 11.30am that an Italian male nude Renaissance-era sculpture had been seen in and around the Etihad. “I’m sure I’ve just seen a classic depiction of Italian high-Renaissance art stepping out of a cab at the Ethihad”, said Twitter user Money_28. “Driving past the Etihad in my van and seen a 17 foot naked grey man with a small penis. Reckon it was David, get in!” said another user. “Sculpture spotted at the Etihad and it’s not Ghiberti’s St. John the Baptist…thank god! was the response of Gary_MCFC2.

Tottenham Hotspur were reportedly interesting in signing David in 2010 with manager Harry Redknapp quoted as saying at the time, “Oh, he’s a ‘triffic sculpure. Really ‘triffic. Just needs an arm around ‘is shoulder and he’ll do ‘triffic.”

Accademia di Belle Arti have a number of pieces that they may struggle to keep hold of in the transfer window. Fulham have purportedly made a £6m bid for the early Renaissance painting Quarate Predella by Paolo Uccello whilst Manchester United are said to be keen on Jean Boulogne Giambologna’s Hercules beating the Centaur Nessus which may be available on a Bosman in the summer.


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